Just A Dog?

It’s early morning. The sun is making a splendid appearance coloring the sky shades of pink and purple. Too many gradations to discern where the pink turns to purple and the purple to blue. It is really and truly a lovely sight, but nothing seems to lift my spirits these days. The house is like a forty by forty tomb because of his absence. I look for him in his favorite spots, but of course he is not there. I grieve as if my loss was a person. It’s silly really – he was just a dog. My heart is broken nonetheless.

His favorite thing was a walk. I can’t bring myself to walk without him. I know I won’t enjoy it though the veil of tears. Will time release me of this suffering?

I have to walk again. It’s ridiculous to sit here and feel bad. I may as well feel bad outside. Do I have everything I need? When we walked together I always carried poop bags, and a bottle of water, tissues, and phone. I won’t need any poop bags this time.

I was fine until I turned to corner to head up the hill and realized I was crossing the road where it made the lease sense to cross, but the exact spot he would always cross. Tears started to flow. Suck it up buttercup. He’s gone. Face it.

I trekked up the hill not noticing anything but my pain. I’ve decided I’m going to do this every day and celebrate the day I can do the walk without the tears.

I love this part of the walk where there are fewer houses. He liked it on this stretch as well. What a sniffer he was. Nose driven.

There he is. He looks up at me with a question in his eyes. Why are you stopping here? I reach down to rub his ears and he is gone. Onward I march absent of his love.

I see his cheerful countenance at every turn of the road. The memories are precious, but now I turn around and head for home. Enough for today. Tomorrow is another day.

A great grief only comes after having a great love.

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